My days are filled with the memories of the peaceful days spent and my nights with dreams of the unforgettable time with you.
Yes it took me a year to tell you that you are missed immensely; that my prayers are still filled with wishes of returning to you. Expressing my feelings needed words that were beyond my pen’s limited calibre.
You made me question my self established beliefs. I who thought everyone around me a sinner found myself challenged. Who am I to pass a judgment? Am I sin un-tainted? Are my morals beyond reproach? If no then how can I be a moral authority – if yes even then could I sentence someone as sinner? I do not think so.
Your generosity, your magnanimity, your ability to embrace all, to make foes friends, to make people absolve their differences and focus on collective goals made me reflect over our lives. Why when you could forge unity of action and thoughts; our lives are immersed in irreconcilable petty differences which several times blow into conflicts of overwhelming adverse consequences? Why with you being kind, humble, tolerant, respecting all was so easy when on our own we cannot stand slight differences of opinion?
When the world cannot forgive many for genuine minor human lapses; with you forgiveness was a straightforward act- the seeker with his finite list of forgiveness- you with limitless opportunities of seeking forgiveness. Weeping, lamenting, asking – you encouraged it and in return gave an incredible unexplained feeling of vindication.
With you, I could be myself free from pretension of appearances and actions. My days were filled with acts that I to date cherish as kind and my nights with prayers that I remember as selfless and sincere. Patience became a virtue so much practised that even when provoked intensively, outcome would only be a patient smile.
That one night when rich and poor, ethical and unethical, black and white – all had open sky as their blanket and hard road as the mattress – you made the relentless struggle for material bliss appear so futile.
As stones were pelted on the perpetrator of all evil in our lives; questions were asked whether the evil was internal or external?
It has been a year. I may have tried my best but I cannot be the person I was with you. At slightest provocation, I lose my temper. Tolerance is difficult to achieve….why am I not the same person as I was with you?
I miss you very much.
Miss you Mecca, miss you Madina.